I was a Burn Virgin. I had never been to Afrikaburn or Burning Man, or any festival as a matter of fact. It was all new. And I naively had a lot of expectations. From the moment we got into the car with a perfect stranger for the drive to Tankwa Desert, all those expectations began to fade away.
Afrikaburn is a community, a culture and an experience I could have never dreamed up on my own. Becoming a part of all that was a memory I’ll treasure forever. I am not someone who loves throwing around the label “life-changing experiences.”
But in all honesty, a week in Tankwa Town was a life-changing experience for me.
Okay, so I keep saying how amazing and spectacular Afrikaburn is, but I still haven’t actually even explained why. I probably sound like some starry-eyed lover or a brainwashed minion. Maybe both are a little true, but in an attempt to ensure I haven’t gone completely bonkers, let me explain the Why in just 3 words:
- Safe
- Free
- Authentic
Safe
I felt safe in Tankwa Town. Not safely locked-in-my-home type safe, but more like leave-your-doors-unlocked-and-talk-to-strangers-small-town-USA safe. After the first day, I didn’t think twice about locking my bag or tent. I didn’t think twice about things being taken. Now lost is a different story, but that’s for another time.
I not only felt my things were safe, but I felt my own personhood was safe. I didn’t feel threatened. Not once. Love and respect was the underlying vibe, and it left me free to not waste even a moment with worry. This was especially important to me as it related to me feeling sexually safe.
There is a quote by Gavin de Becker from his book, Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence, about the difference in what men fear and what women fear.
Most men fear getting laughed at or humiliated by a romantic prospect while most women fear rape and death.
A bold statement, but I’ve walked home with my keys clenched between my knuckles enough to know that there is a lot of truth in this statement. Now, I wouldn’t dare to speak for everyone there, but for me, I thankfully didn’t once feel that all too familiar fear during my entire week at Afrikaburn.
I go out dancing quite frequently, and the amount of unwanted sexual harassment I receive is sometimes enough to make me leave the club, despite my desire to keep dancing. I didn’t receive that unwanted attention in Tankwa Town, and honestly it surprised me quite a bit. Especially given the outfits I decided to wear.
Yes, I know we can’t hold our outfits accountable for the lack of self-control of perpetrators, but still. I was surprised. And yet I felt safe. All week.
Free
I found freedom in Tankwa Town. There was so much freedom all around. And as each day passed, I found a little more.
I found freedom from technology. We were in the middle of the desert. There was no service and our generator didn’t work, so no charging either. Phones turned off. No computers. Not a worry in the world. I had unplugged and was connected to the present moment. I was free.
With each passing day I felt more and more freedom from judgement. People were wearing wild costumes, embracing the moment and really seemed to not care what others may or may not think about them. I started to hear that judgey little voice in my head tune down and tune out.
Authentic
I felt like my true self in Tankwa Town. It is a little hard to explain, because I always strive to be authentic in my day to day life, but I still wear some masks. Despite dressing up and wearing various costumes, I felt like I took off all my masks and could share my authentic self at Afrikaburn.
I let parts of me that I have kept hidden out of their hiding places. My curiosity was free to explore. I was brave and pushed my comfort boundaries. And I felt more alive each time. One memory I love about pushing comfort boundaries was Birthday Suits.
Breaking boundaries in my birthday suit
Birthday Suits is a camp that offers hot showers for any and all, you just join the line in your birthday suit. Then, wonderfully kind people bathe you. Yes, soapy sponges soak your body and strangers’ hands splash shampoo into your hair. All you have to do is step in, relax and enjoy.
I was terrified.
A million fears ran through my head. What if I’m too fat? Was my bikini line all cleaned up? What if my white ass blinds someone? Will someone get cheap thrills off me? (On Day 2 I still hadn’t fully realized how safe I would soon feel) Like I said, a million fears filled my mind.
But everyone around me was comfortable in her own skin. People were smiling, laughing and all in just their birthday suits. There were all types of body shapes and ages. And everyone was in his birthday suit. And so, as I stood in line I took a deep breath and finally took my colorful wrap off exposing my colorfully tattooed bare skin. I was completely exposed and there was nothing left to hide behind. I was just me.
Is this what a nudist colony is like? Maybe. I’ve never been so I don’t know, but I have to admit it was liberating.
I loved Afrikaburn. It was a life-changing experience. And like so many others, I am already planning for the next Burn. It is addicting, this taste of freedom. Are you ready to join in?
For more pictures of the Burn, be sure to check out Bad Vegan Lady’s Instagram and Facebook pages. Let the adventures continue!