I enjoy being positive. That is not to say I am ALWAYS positive, or that we should ALWAYS be positive. But I think most people would agree, life seems a little better when more often than not, you see the cup as half full as opposed to half empty. That being said, there are many times when I don’t feel that way.
Ask any of my friends who seek advice from me as of late, and you’ll see I am an advocate of feeling feelings. But that isn’t to say we should let our feelings take hold of us permanently. A good cry is absolutely necessary sometimes. And a good dose of fake positivity is as well!
I use the “Fake it ‘til you make it” technique especially when I am just feeling grouchy. No real drama has occurred, and no slight has really been directed at me, and yet still I am filled with negativity. Some might say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed perhaps. A million little nonessentials seem dead set on ruining my day.
So, when all these little clouds storm up and rain on my parade, I whip out my rainbow-colored umbrella and dance in the rain.
Whether I feel like it or not.
At first I still feel just as grouchy, but at a certain point I actually begin to enjoy myself.
For example, today was a long day in the field. We worked through lunch and none of the reports we came to collect were complete. I was beginning to get upset. I was taking things personally as if the world was intentionally out to ruin my Friday. Luckily, I recognized this. I quickly decided to fake it until I would eventually make it.
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. Thich Nhat Hanh
I smiled big. Even took a couple cute selfies and admired those pearly whites of mine. Not only is this just fun, but lots of science says it actually works! Smiling (even fake smiling) works by essentially feeding your brain happy meals, and not the type with the two golden arches. So, even as you fake your enjoyment, you slowly begin to change your mind’s reality.
At remembering all this, I laughed a little—something between a forced chuckle and a sincere enjoyment in my own mastery of tricking happiness back into my heart.
The next fake it choice I made was instead of complaining, I chose NOT to complain. Not at all! I’m the first to admit, this was a major challenge, but I more or less stuck with it. And eventually saw the fruits of my labor.
Before I knew it, it seemed as if I had arrived. I made it. Just by faking it.
“Fake it ‘til you make it” at first glance may seem inauthentic, but the only way it will work is if you actually address your authentic feelings. In order to fake it, you must acknowledge that you don’t feel all that happy and that is an act of validation to your emotional self.
After validating your feelings, you then can be open to letting them go and letting something new in. Fake it til you make it is a process that actually helps us step into our more authentic selves that seek love, compassion and understanding. A life where the glass is half full even as it is half empty.
What’s your experience in letting your authentic self move through the emotions and arrive at peace? Leave a comment, share a quote and stay connected. I’d absolutely love to see what you come up with. Rain or shine, let the adventures continue!